At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
