"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
