She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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