he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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