He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
third nipple confirmed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
