if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
