Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
