Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
