i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
