the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
