Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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