i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
