Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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