Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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