how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
