when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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