you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
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I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
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just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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