So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
