Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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