We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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