people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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