Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
