there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
