K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Houston, we have a blender
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You ruined the universe
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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