On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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