when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
