So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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