My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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