with your own penis?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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