And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
