So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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