Whatcha textin bout Willis?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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