Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
