I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize