You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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