Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
