How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
