Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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