your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
