It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she peed on how many people?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Your penis caused this!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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