May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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