I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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