The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize