He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize