don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
