I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
