just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
