fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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