Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
