i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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