Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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