I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
