you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
