I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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