Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
