im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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