gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize