I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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