it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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