this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize