Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hippo gnu deer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
