Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
