I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
