I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
are you so shy because you have an std?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
