he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
