Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
