She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
