We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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