u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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