I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize